Obesity "Peaks" (at the Invisible Hand)

Obesity rates have recently plateaued according to today's newspaper. Let's take a closer peek at this peak. As I've pointed out, the last decade brought us both unprecedentedly cheap eats and related obesity, but the correlation is widely unnoticed or ignored. Everyone in a capitalist economy knows the relationship between price and consumption, oil being a good example.

Health officials are taking credit for this rontundos reversalus, believing their nutrition labeling, public educational programs, and removing junk food from public schools are the reason. But that's like conservationists crediting themselves for motivating the public to buy more fuel efficient vehicles when gas reaches $4.00 per gallon.

Consumption is limited only by the ability to pay, the cheaper (thus more plentiful) a commodity, the more likely it will be over-consumed as with the "all your can eat" buffet vs. the al a carte menu. So all you public health professionals, don't give yourself too much credit. The invisible hand that once overfed us, now moderates our consumption.

Published in the Desert Sun, 6 June, 2008

Did you hear about....

the lawyer who was a failed novelist?

He refused to put anything in writing!

Panderer or War Monger

We all know that Clinton and Obama both believe the Iraqi War is over oil. Now John McCann joined the fray saying that under his energy policy we would never again have to fight a war over oil. He later said he was referring to Iraq I, not the current war, but with his advanced senility, I suspect he said what he meant... he's getting too old to lie effectively.

Great! They are all on the same page. But Clinton and McCann both want to temporarily repeal the federal gas tax during the summer months when prices and demand peak. They literally want to add fuel to the fire encouraging overconsumption of a blood-soaked commodity. Shame on them for pandering to an American public. We need to change our ways; any delay will cost more lives and further degrade the planet.

Outdoor Smoking Ban

I applaud the City of Palm Desert for moving toward an outdoor smoking ban (April 29). But secondhand smoke from cigarettes is dwarfed by the volume of exhaust emitted by parked vehicles. Don't believe me? Try parking your car in the garage with your engine running for say 30 seconds. If you live to tell about it, compare that amount of pollution with thirty seconds worth of second hand cigarette smoke.

Palm Desert has several outdoor and curbside eateries. Inevitably, someone parks a running car just close enough so I'd prefer second hand smoke over car exhaust. I'm not sure why we are congenitally incapable of shutting off our engines; gas is nearly $4.00 a gallon, we say we don't want to depend on foreign oil and inevitable conflicts, and we all know air pollution hurts children and adults alike.


Wake up Palm Desert and the rest of California, the real ban should be on idling cars and SUVs.
[Note that this piece was published in the Desert Sun, May 4, 2008

Past Performance

How are mutual funds like relationships?
Past performance is no guaranty of future results.

Religious Nature

Man studies animals to learn about himself, then creates religion to deny the obvious.

Jewish Oedipus Complex

Mother kills the father and marries the son.

Penis to Body Mass Index

PBMI, that's right PBMI (Penis to Body Mass Index). This is the ratio of body weight divided by penile weight. American men seem to come up short. While I haven't made a scientific study of locker rooms, gay baths and nudist resorts, it just seems logical. As Americans pack on the pounds, American penises don't grow commensurately; in fact, there's evidence of shrinkage, especially relating to the testicles.

Let's take a look at what men drive based on their PBMI.
(Oops, this little fella obviously doesn't need to drive anything).

Let's say a 150 pound man has a four ounce penis (my approximation), about the average weight of a 5 to 6 inch member. The ratio is 600, or his body weighs 600 times the weight of his penis and is likely to drive something that looks like this:

A 300 pound man, even without a deduction for shrinkage, has a ratio of 1200 and drives any one of these babies.

Cheap Food Obesity

The media continues its coverage of both rising food prices and obesity in America. Clearly, we can't have both simultaneously. I'd like to point out that as of a couple of years ago American food prices were the cheapest in the HISTORY OF THE WORLD! And obesity rates were and continue to be the highest in the HISTORY OF THE WORLD.

For the ten years ending in 2006, the federal minimum wage was $5.15 (many states have higher rates). It's fair to assume that folks earning this wage are at the bottom end of our economic strata. During this time a Denny's "Grand Slam" was $1.99 (that's 1000 calories of food cooked and served) and that's just the tip of the iceberg (not including other fast food deals and supermarket bargains). Bottom line: Americans on the lowest rung of the employment ladder earn enough money in one hour to sustain their obesity.

As of last year, the rate went to $5.85, or a 14% increase. Clearly, food is up more than 14%. It now may take a low earner 1.5 hours for their daily caloric intake, still cheap when you consider people used to work most of the day just to put food on the table.

Poe “The Raven” by David Eppelheimer

Walter N. Marks Center for the Arts

Student Exhibition: April 9, 2008

1. Description

This vertical framed portrait of Edgar Allen Poe (22.5” X 30.5” oil/acrylic) includes a taxidermied black bird perched on the frame. Two life-sized modeled and clothed arms extend from the portrait; one arm is vertical, hand up toward the chin, index finger extended just under the mouth, and the other arm extends horizontally, hand extended holding a book.

The work is mostly black and white with some grey tones. The paint was applied thickly, almost sculpting the image in places.

2. Analysis

In the original poem, the protagonist reads a book to overcome the loss of his beloved Lenore. A raven alights on a statue; it quaffs “Nevermore.” Poe’s imagination runs wild. The painting reflects Poe(etic) macabre iconology with its “Raven” (actually, this specimen is an artistically licensed crow) and dark colors. Poe appears to “shush” the Raven, or perhaps he self consciously doesn’t want the observer to reveal his “secret.” It’s not clear why Poe holds a book of his own writings, perhaps he’s acting out his poem. And the painting’s asking price of $763 defies my analysis, except that Poe wrote about madness in The Tell Tale Heart containing 763 words. Other possibilities: 1) Minnesota area code, 2) number of acts in the South by Southwest Music Festival, and 3) the Boeing 763.

3. Interpretation

Clever and self-referential, this conceptual work teases lingua arte with arte lingua; both share the same title and themes. Art imitating art. It captures mood, motion, and artistic juxtaposition. But the mystery remains: where does Poe end and Eppelheimer begin and where does Eppelheimer end and Poe begin?

Global Warming Hoax?

I've advocated environmental causes for years with little impact.
My advice to other environmentalists: don't waste your time discussing global warming, it will undermine your cause. First, let's follow the "logical" syllogism of non-believers:

1) global warming doesn't exist (most radical right wingers now disavow this),
2) if it exists, 6.7 billion humans don't contribute (a common US Christian belief, although non-US Christians think otherwise),
3) if it is man's fault, God wants it--our manifest destiny (God encouraging good Christians to rape North America) or perhaps to encourage the second coming.

Within this astute "scientific" community, global warming and evolution are hoaxes, virgin births and physical resurrections are scientific fact. But these folks experience the same sights and smells as environmentalists; they have inhaled vehicular exhaust, seen polluted cities, and noticed fouled waters. They might even be aware of the connection between pollution and human illness.

Therefore, I propose a temporary moratorium on trying to convince anyone about global warming and refocus efforts on what people see and smell. Let's show them a picture of a pretty white girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, suffering from pollution.

Tit for Tat Prayer

Last year Pope Benedict sought to reinstate a prayer for Jewish souls. It reads, in part:

Let us also pray for the Jews that God our Lord should illuminate their hearts, so that they will recognize Jesus Christ, the Savior of all men.

How kind of the new Pope to care about Jew’s unilluminated “heart,” but the recipients of this papal largess were outraged. Several rabbinical ingrates protested to Benedict who eventually rescinded his infallible order.

The rabbis should have created a Hebrew prayer reflecting Jewish concern for Catholic hearts. I last spoke Hebrew the morning of February 18, 1967 at my Bar Mitzvah, but can still recall the gruesome yarn about God randomly killing 3,000 Hebrews because a mere handful worshiped a golden calf (a prohibited, but nevertheless common practice at the time). Wasn’t it Stalin who said “better to kill a thousand innocent men than allow one guilty man to go free?”

Let us pray:

Blessed are You, LORD, our God, King of the universe,

Let us also pray for the Christians that God our Lord should illuminate their hearts, so that they will recognize false idolatry, the Fall of all men.