Outdoor Smoking Ban

I applaud the City of Palm Desert for moving toward an outdoor smoking ban (April 29). But secondhand smoke from cigarettes is dwarfed by the volume of exhaust emitted by parked vehicles. Don't believe me? Try parking your car in the garage with your engine running for say 30 seconds. If you live to tell about it, compare that amount of pollution with thirty seconds worth of second hand cigarette smoke.

Palm Desert has several outdoor and curbside eateries. Inevitably, someone parks a running car just close enough so I'd prefer second hand smoke over car exhaust. I'm not sure why we are congenitally incapable of shutting off our engines; gas is nearly $4.00 a gallon, we say we don't want to depend on foreign oil and inevitable conflicts, and we all know air pollution hurts children and adults alike.


Wake up Palm Desert and the rest of California, the real ban should be on idling cars and SUVs.
[Note that this piece was published in the Desert Sun, May 4, 2008

Past Performance

How are mutual funds like relationships?
Past performance is no guaranty of future results.

Religious Nature

Man studies animals to learn about himself, then creates religion to deny the obvious.

Jewish Oedipus Complex

Mother kills the father and marries the son.

Penis to Body Mass Index

PBMI, that's right PBMI (Penis to Body Mass Index). This is the ratio of body weight divided by penile weight. American men seem to come up short. While I haven't made a scientific study of locker rooms, gay baths and nudist resorts, it just seems logical. As Americans pack on the pounds, American penises don't grow commensurately; in fact, there's evidence of shrinkage, especially relating to the testicles.

Let's take a look at what men drive based on their PBMI.
(Oops, this little fella obviously doesn't need to drive anything).

Let's say a 150 pound man has a four ounce penis (my approximation), about the average weight of a 5 to 6 inch member. The ratio is 600, or his body weighs 600 times the weight of his penis and is likely to drive something that looks like this:

A 300 pound man, even without a deduction for shrinkage, has a ratio of 1200 and drives any one of these babies.

Cheap Food Obesity

The media continues its coverage of both rising food prices and obesity in America. Clearly, we can't have both simultaneously. I'd like to point out that as of a couple of years ago American food prices were the cheapest in the HISTORY OF THE WORLD! And obesity rates were and continue to be the highest in the HISTORY OF THE WORLD.

For the ten years ending in 2006, the federal minimum wage was $5.15 (many states have higher rates). It's fair to assume that folks earning this wage are at the bottom end of our economic strata. During this time a Denny's "Grand Slam" was $1.99 (that's 1000 calories of food cooked and served) and that's just the tip of the iceberg (not including other fast food deals and supermarket bargains). Bottom line: Americans on the lowest rung of the employment ladder earn enough money in one hour to sustain their obesity.

As of last year, the rate went to $5.85, or a 14% increase. Clearly, food is up more than 14%. It now may take a low earner 1.5 hours for their daily caloric intake, still cheap when you consider people used to work most of the day just to put food on the table.

Poe “The Raven” by David Eppelheimer

Walter N. Marks Center for the Arts

Student Exhibition: April 9, 2008

1. Description

This vertical framed portrait of Edgar Allen Poe (22.5” X 30.5” oil/acrylic) includes a taxidermied black bird perched on the frame. Two life-sized modeled and clothed arms extend from the portrait; one arm is vertical, hand up toward the chin, index finger extended just under the mouth, and the other arm extends horizontally, hand extended holding a book.

The work is mostly black and white with some grey tones. The paint was applied thickly, almost sculpting the image in places.

2. Analysis

In the original poem, the protagonist reads a book to overcome the loss of his beloved Lenore. A raven alights on a statue; it quaffs “Nevermore.” Poe’s imagination runs wild. The painting reflects Poe(etic) macabre iconology with its “Raven” (actually, this specimen is an artistically licensed crow) and dark colors. Poe appears to “shush” the Raven, or perhaps he self consciously doesn’t want the observer to reveal his “secret.” It’s not clear why Poe holds a book of his own writings, perhaps he’s acting out his poem. And the painting’s asking price of $763 defies my analysis, except that Poe wrote about madness in The Tell Tale Heart containing 763 words. Other possibilities: 1) Minnesota area code, 2) number of acts in the South by Southwest Music Festival, and 3) the Boeing 763.

3. Interpretation

Clever and self-referential, this conceptual work teases lingua arte with arte lingua; both share the same title and themes. Art imitating art. It captures mood, motion, and artistic juxtaposition. But the mystery remains: where does Poe end and Eppelheimer begin and where does Eppelheimer end and Poe begin?

Global Warming Hoax?

I've advocated environmental causes for years with little impact.
My advice to other environmentalists: don't waste your time discussing global warming, it will undermine your cause. First, let's follow the "logical" syllogism of non-believers:

1) global warming doesn't exist (most radical right wingers now disavow this),
2) if it exists, 6.7 billion humans don't contribute (a common US Christian belief, although non-US Christians think otherwise),
3) if it is man's fault, God wants it--our manifest destiny (God encouraging good Christians to rape North America) or perhaps to encourage the second coming.

Within this astute "scientific" community, global warming and evolution are hoaxes, virgin births and physical resurrections are scientific fact. But these folks experience the same sights and smells as environmentalists; they have inhaled vehicular exhaust, seen polluted cities, and noticed fouled waters. They might even be aware of the connection between pollution and human illness.

Therefore, I propose a temporary moratorium on trying to convince anyone about global warming and refocus efforts on what people see and smell. Let's show them a picture of a pretty white girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, suffering from pollution.

Tit for Tat Prayer

Last year Pope Benedict sought to reinstate a prayer for Jewish souls. It reads, in part:

Let us also pray for the Jews that God our Lord should illuminate their hearts, so that they will recognize Jesus Christ, the Savior of all men.

How kind of the new Pope to care about Jew’s unilluminated “heart,” but the recipients of this papal largess were outraged. Several rabbinical ingrates protested to Benedict who eventually rescinded his infallible order.

The rabbis should have created a Hebrew prayer reflecting Jewish concern for Catholic hearts. I last spoke Hebrew the morning of February 18, 1967 at my Bar Mitzvah, but can still recall the gruesome yarn about God randomly killing 3,000 Hebrews because a mere handful worshiped a golden calf (a prohibited, but nevertheless common practice at the time). Wasn’t it Stalin who said “better to kill a thousand innocent men than allow one guilty man to go free?”

Let us pray:

Blessed are You, LORD, our God, King of the universe,

Let us also pray for the Christians that God our Lord should illuminate their hearts, so that they will recognize false idolatry, the Fall of all men.

El Paseo Gallery Crawl, First Thursday of November, 2007

I visited several galleries, three of which are worthy of mention.

Edenhurst Gallery defines hospitality and defies the imagination: did you know a full sized harp (all 47 strings) could fit in a hatchback? With angelic music, dark walls accentuating the vibrant 20^th Century Impressionist-style pastorals (including obligatory lilly pads),contrasting blond wood floors, ample Broke Back Mountain western motif, and full bar (the mid-range merlot tolerably serviceable), this venue leads the pack for festive ambiance. Two works are standouts: The Timber Line (1918) with its heavy pallet-knife strokes (it’s still sitting on the floor despite the whopping $600,000 price tag and my parents wouldn’t allow a 10 cent toy left out… go figure), and Poppy Field with its amazing yellows.

Desert Art Gallery, the epitome of desert architecture, wins the best-real estate in-show award. The sculpture collection stands out, both the outside (Steve Reitman, etc.) and the African work inside. When I smugly commented that some of the African stuff seemed derivative of Picasso, it was pointed out that these sculptors were keeping a long tradition and as such, Picasso was derivative of them. My daddy always said to keep my mouth shut so people will think I’m stupid. If I open it, he said, they’ll know it!

Eleonore Austerer Gallery, sublime! [Your former student] For “show and tell” I’ve selected the following work. Note that the questions relating to the formal analysis were taken from the internet as described below (yes, I wrote the answers). Afterwards I answer the non-formal questions in the assignment.

“Spiral and Circles” ca. 1970

Original color lithograph

25 5/8 x 37 ¾ inches

FORMAL ANALYSIS

Original Color Lithograph: 25 5/8 x 37 ¾ inches [remainder of analysis removed to save space]

COMMENTARY:

What appeals is the color and symmetry, two pieces of eye candy divided between the two eyes. Also, I like the humorous story (see above). The forms seem to have evolved from an obvious progression: 1) Symbolists (Gauguin in particular) who filled volume with somewhat monolithic unmodeled representational volume with fully abstracted colorful, unmodeled, but un-monolithic volume. The next step was Calder’s: abstracted, unmodeled, colorful monolithic volumes. Of course Mondrian did the same thing years before, but in an even more abstracted, non-allegorical manner. color, 2) Fauvists (Matisse in particular) who filled monolithic color, and finally 3) The Blue Rider (actually, only Kandinsky) who abstracted colorful, unmodeled, but un-monolithic volume. The next step was Calder’s: abstracted, unmodeled, colorful monolithic volumes. Of course Mondrian did the same thing years before, but in an even more abstracted, non-allegorical manner.

Manet's Olympia

Let’s listen to Manet’s interior monologue while he presents Olympia along side the Academy’s “catwalk.”

Olympia dons her resplendent birthday suit together with de rigueur footwear, a must-have for every working girl…available only at Maison Geppetto. Smartly accessorized with jaunty ribbon and risqué chat noir this stunning ensemble is accented by a ravishing bouquet.

Olympia…

more than just a flattened hooker.

Only 2,000 Francs,

Haddie McDaniel, extra.

Social Security: A Bipartisan “Voluntary Giving” Safety Net

Social Security:

A Bipartisan “Voluntary Giving” Safety Net

Our social security fund will start paying out more than it receives by 2018 and by 2041 (when I’ll have my 87 year old snout at the trough) it will be unable to meet its obligations. Since we designated this sinking ship the USS Sacred Cow, logical overhauls are politically impractical. Personally, I would make social security more “needs-based” and less contribution/entitlement-based, so wealthy retirees receive less and little old ladies can upgrade from cat food to tuna. Obviously, the “I paid into the system and expect every penny back” crowd would never allow this to happen, but what if these folks were afforded the privilege of altruism? It may not save the system, but it will lessen the pain of its decline.

Recently, I had chance to make a charitable contribution through a site called Donorschoose.org. Public school teachers in underprivileged areas post their specific needs, e.g., we funded a “white board” and markers for around $60. All of the funds were used as proposed, the teacher and the students thanked us, and they keep us informed of their progress. It really is better to give than receive!

I propose that the Social Security Administration create a “Donorschoose” website where the less fortunate (those with inadequate SSI) can post their picture, story, circumstances, etc. SSI recipients who want to experience the joy of giving can log onto the site, identify one or more “worthies,” and have an amount of their choice deducted from their next scheduled distribution. An “autopay” feature could help regularly support the recipient(s). Politically, this should appease both AARP and conservatives who believe that 1) people shouldn’t get more than they deserve, and 2) charity should be a private, not government function. Liberals might prefer a more comprehensive government response, but that will never happen (except in crisis). I see a chance for the bi-partisanism sorely missed over the past few years.

This proposal won’t fix social security, but it will help those in need and, perhaps in the long run, create a culture of giving where enough donors will forgo their entitlements altogether. In the meantime, young people should start viewing their payments as a tax and not an entitlement, and Congress should codify this new paradigm so future generations don’t face the same problem.

Riverside Art Museums

The Riverside Art Museum

My “ex” was an art history major at Emory; my interest was primarily in architecture. During our many museum visits, her focus was on fine art, mine was on design and construction. While I’m still passionate about architecture, my current interest is art. That brings us to our docent. Years ago I would have relished his guessing game at the old YWCA: “what do you suppose this room was used for?” Yes, those fine hardwood floors were dribbled on by basketballs, not paint. And bad acoustics screams “indoor pool.”

Nevertheless, I enjoyed hearing about the building’s architect, Julia Morgan. Imagine, a woman designing our machismo Americanus, Hearst Castle. I don’t know what she learned at The Beaux-Arts Institute, but she must have been very in touch with her inner male.

Milford Zornes choreographs watercolors in ways I didn’t know possible. Best in show: Grand Canyon, 2005. Could he capture California light or what?

Gallery #2. I enjoyed most of the six artists, but I fell into the trap of thinking too much like an art historian… long on left brain, short on “guts.” Janet Rosener’s smooth surfaces and soft edges were reminiscent of Helen Frankenthaler (that’s a good thing, I love her work). Leestermaker’s bold colors with central black themes are worthy of my living room while Thibeaut’s abstracted “cityscape” amazed me; the impression of the Superdome appeared as a roofed city, perhaps Roman. But his Leroy Neiman style turned me off. Here is a quote from the movie Airplane, the scene where the bad guys are frustrated by the protagonist’s ability to resist traditional torture:

        Do you want me to bring out the LeRoy Neiman paintings?

        No. We cannot risk violating the Geneva Convention.

Finally, Werfel’s “all over” paintings were too busy for my taste; they go too far all over the place.

Sweeny Art Gallery

Pedro Alvarez undoubtedly digs deeply into the Cuban soul, but his political/social satire loses some of it poignancy on Americans. Of greater interest to me was Andrew Jackson (catalyzer of American Indian diaspora) juxtaposed against the noble dispossessed “savage” in the Romantic Dollarscape Series. The Disney series suggests a Dalian dream (surreal juxtaposition of melting “cheese” and cheesy American entertainment), within an uncanny de Chirico tableau (13.6), plus Eros (see the uncircumcised phallic candles on the right of Cecilia Valdes in Wonderland).

Incognegro: New Work by Mark Steven Greenfield. Enough already, we get it! But inventive, nevertheless, for an old symbolic warhorse of racial cliché. Yes, we are all racists, but most of us are working on it. And that’s good.

UCR/CMP Digital Studio Gallery

More people have had cameras inside of them (read “colonoscopy” or “arthroscopic surgery”) than have been inside a camera. Now I can proudly say I’ve been both inside a camera obscura and have had an obscure camera inside of me.

"Artality"

“Artality”

I scanned the front page of today’s New York Times and spotted an “Abstract Expressionist” work. However, I didn’t notice a clue to its provenance; my thumb covered the lower left (see black rectangle). Studying art history heightens awareness. Out of habit I analyzed its style and meaning—obviously the New York School—perhaps impressionist-inspired water lilies with lightly colored brush strokes creating a reflection of the darker mid-section. Then I removed my thumb. [Scroll down to the bottom].

Artality: (är- tl-t). Artistic monism; specifically, the phenomenological unification of art and reality (courtesy of Fuchswörterbuch).

Art criticism? Am I the hammer that sees everything as nails, the newbie art critic blinded by the obvious in search of the obscure? Or maybe it’s not me at all; in Abstract Expressionism do we lose our common sense? Should I feel guilty for my politically incorrect faux pas? Was that the photographer’s intent, to mess with the cognoscenti?

So let’s just call it “Process Art” or art with inevitable unintended consequences. Or let’s just admit that all things are one, artality.

The small caption reads:
A woman and child wait for food in Mogadishu, where the government is teetering.

El Paseo Gallery Walk, March, 2008

Artwalk Gallery Writing Assignment

I missed the gallery “crawl,” so this paper reflects my sojourn into Saturday morning sobriety.

Melissa Morgan Fine Art. What a delightful find, a Clem Greenberg nirvana with an entire room devoted to his beloved “Post Painterly Color Field” painting. Perhaps taking a page out of the Arnason “playbook,” the Frankenthaler/Louis-inspired collection adjoins an Ellsworth Kelly-inspired “Hard-Edge” work which is also informed by Barrett Newman’s reductiveness.

UPDATE: March 23, 2011. J. Willcot is under new, tasteful management, but I'm leaving the post to demonstrate how bad things can get. J. Willcot. Schlock-decorative division. These works are purposefully designed for the culturally-vacuous wealthy. If you examine local demographics it becomes evident why Philistines trump Bohemians. Take Indian Wells, for example, http://zipskinny.com/index.php?zip=92210 boasting a nearly $100,000 (per the 2000 census, it’s much higher now) median household income while a whopping 60% of adults (age 25+) fail to complete a four year college program. Compare against Cambridge, MA (02142) with only 11% of the population failing to complete college and a paltry $57,000 in income. If one compared all US cities by creating an income/education ratio chart, Indian Wells would stand out for having more money than brains while Cambridge would similarly stand out as having more brains than money.

Imago Galleries. This free-standing postmodern structure contains monumental art too large for in-line stores. While definitely more sophisticated than “Casa Schlocko,” supra, I managed to overhear a couple chatting with a salesperson. Apparently, they had earnestly contemplated “art” and arrived armed with a “sophisticated” pallet including specific requirements. What artistic requirements? It had to fit on their Philistinian wall.

Despite the more-money-than-brains crowd, the collection is noteworthy. One piece leaped in my face.

Jun Kaneko

“Untitled Head” 2007

Cast Bronze

69 x 59 x 47 inches

[see attached]

This large, semi-smooth, head-shaped sculpture is devoid of facial features: no eyes, nose, mouth or even ears. An Archimedean/arithmetic (evenly spaced) patina spiral envelops the entire volume. This Op-Art spiral (is the swirl dark bordered by light or visa versa?) forces the observer’s gaze to its terminus, the centrally located “snakehead.”

* * *

Untitled Head denies evolutionary psychology, our primordial and universal expectation of two-eyed creatures. We anticipate hemispherical symmetry; eyes reflect and incarnate humanity. Whether love or hate, deception or joy, it’s all in the eyes… both of them. Eyelessness, cyclopsism and all manner of ocular abnormality unsettles us. Just think of the discomfort one may experience while conversing with strabismustics (people with crossed or wandering eyes). Also, eyes portray life and death. See Picasso’s near-death Self Portrait, 1972) (20.5).

Untitled Head evokes emotional disturbance. It obliterates visage with vertiginous spiral creating a retina-visceral reaction. I doubt other abstract designs, e.g., a mandala, or a nature-inspired spiral, e.g., the Greek “golden mean”/nautilus would provoke a similar response. As we search vainly for missing eyes, a vortex actuates our “extra-ocular” muscles jerking us cross-eyed. We become what we fear: the strabismustic. Vertigo may follow, head and guts reel.

Swirls generally activate primal fears, e.g., drowning in a maelstrom, falling down from vertiginous dervishing, and falling down from, or being killed by, cyclonic winds. Swirls can create a reality unsettling to the observer. See Munch, The Scream (5.18), and van Gogh’s ostensibly pleasing, but nevertheless disturbing Starry Night.

Several additional factors may contribute to a visceral response. 1) The central “snakehead” unleashes our primatial fear of snakes, 2) The mask-like qualities of the spiral serves to both obscure a “hidden enemy” while simultaneously eliciting an empathic response as the spiral “mask” “muzzles” the mouthless and suffocating person within, and 3) The “snakehead” is located at the intuitively powerful point of Ajna, the “third-eye” located on the forehead between the brows.